Lessons we can learn from a snowman
- Wearing white is always in style – even after Labor
Day.
- Getting outside in the winter is good for your health.
- It’s fun just to hang out in your front yard.
- We’re all made up of mostly water.
- Accessories don’t have to be expensive.
- Don’t get too much sun!
- If you’re a little bottom heavy – hey, that’s okay!
- You know you’ve made it when they write a song about
you.
- If you look down and can’t see your feet – you’re
probably not very active.
- Sometimes sweating too much can have disastrous
results.
Bush
George W. Bush saw Moses at the grocery store and said,
"Hey, aren't you Moses?" Moses said nothing just kept on shopping. A few aisles over W ran into Moses again, and
said "Hey, aren't you Moses?" Again
Moses said nothing. A few aisles over
again George saw Moses and said, "I just KNOW you're Moses!" This time Moses replied, "Hey, the last
time I talked to a Bush, I ended up in the wilderness for 40 years!"
20 Adult Truths.......OH, how true!
1 Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive
times and still not know what time it is.
2. Nothing is worse than that moment during an argument
when you realize you're wrong.
3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.
4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.
5. How on earth are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
6. Was learning cursive really necessary?
7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind-of tired.
10. Bad decisions make good stories.
11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.
12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again.
13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.
14. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
15. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
16. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
17. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?
18. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!
19. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.
20. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time.
3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.
4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.
5. How on earth are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
6. Was learning cursive really necessary?
7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind-of tired.
10. Bad decisions make good stories.
11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.
12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again.
13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.
14. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
15. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
16. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
17. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?
18. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!
19. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.
20. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time.
Advice
An old guy was working out in the gym when he spotted an
attractive young lady. He asked a nearby trainer, “What machine should I use to
impress that lady over there?” The
trainer looked him up and down and said, “I would try the ATM in the lobby.”
K-9 mail
Two dogs are walking down the street and one says to the
other, "Wait here a minute, I'll be right back." He trots across the street, sniffs at a fire
hydrant for about a minute, then comes back.
The other dog says, "What was that about?" The dog first dog says, "Oh, just
checking my messages."
Oops
A new business was opening and one of the owner's friends
wanted to send him flowers for the occasion. They arrived at the new business site and the
owner read the card, "Rest in peace." The owner was frustrated and
called the florist to complain. After
he had told the florist of the obvious mistake and how frustrated he was, the
florist replied, "Sir, I'm really sorry for the mistake, but rather than
getting frustrated, you should imagine this - somewhere there is a funeral
taking place today, and they have flowers with a note saying, 'Congratulations
on your new location.'"
More Than Meets The Eye
I canceled camouflage training because no one turned up... Oh, wait a minute...
I canceled camouflage training because no one turned up... Oh, wait a minute...
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