Happy Mother’s Day
Stages
At 6 years old, "Mommy, I love you."
At 10 years old, "Mom, whatever"
At 16, "My mom is so annoying."
At 18, "I wanna leave this house."
At 25, "Mom, you were right."
At 30, "I wanna go to Mom's house"
At 50, "I don't wanna lose my Mom."
At 70, "I would give up anything for my mom to be
here with me."
10 Things A Mom Doesn't Want To Hear
1. I swallowed a goldfish.
2. Your lipstick works better than crayons.
3. Does grape juice leave a stain???
4. The principal called...
5. But DAD says that word all the time.
6. What's it cost to fix a window???
7. Has anyone seen my earthworms???
8. I painted your shoes pretty, huh Mommy?
9. The dog doesn't like dressing up in your clothes.
10. I'm moving out. (Well, maybe some days.)
Mother's Day Wish
A mother asked her small son what he would like for his birthday. "I want a little brother," the boy said. "Oh my, that's such a big wish," said the mother. "Why do you want a little brother?" "Well," the boy said, "there's only so much I can blame on the dog."
A mother asked her small son what he would like for his birthday. "I want a little brother," the boy said. "Oh my, that's such a big wish," said the mother. "Why do you want a little brother?" "Well," the boy said, "there's only so much I can blame on the dog."
Why God Made
Moms
Why God Made Moms Answers given by 2nd grade school
children to the following questions:
Why did God make mothers?
1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.
2. Mostly to clean the house.
3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.
How did God make mothers?
1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
2. God made my Mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts.
What kind of little girl was your mom?
1. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.
2. They say she used to be nice.
What did Mom need to know about dad before she married him?
1. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook?
2. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?
Why did your Mom marry your dad?
1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world and my Mom eats a lot.
2. My grandma says that Mom didn't have her thinking cap on.
Who's the boss at your house?
1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a goof ball.
2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.
3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad.
What's the difference between Moms and dads?
1. Moms work at work and work at home and dads just go to work at work.
2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
3. Dads are taller and stronger, but Moms have all the real power 'cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend's.
4. Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine.
If you could change one thing about your Mom, what would it be?
1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that.
2. I'd make my Mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it and not me.
3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head.
What We Said Differently to Mom and Dad Growing Up: Why did God make mothers?
1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.
2. Mostly to clean the house.
3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.
How did God make mothers?
1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
2. God made my Mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts.
What kind of little girl was your mom?
1. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.
2. They say she used to be nice.
What did Mom need to know about dad before she married him?
1. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook?
2. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?
Why did your Mom marry your dad?
1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world and my Mom eats a lot.
2. My grandma says that Mom didn't have her thinking cap on.
Who's the boss at your house?
1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a goof ball.
2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.
3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad.
What's the difference between Moms and dads?
1. Moms work at work and work at home and dads just go to work at work.
2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
3. Dads are taller and stronger, but Moms have all the real power 'cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend's.
4. Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine.
If you could change one thing about your Mom, what would it be?
1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that.
2. I'd make my Mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it and not me.
3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head.
— To Mom —
- I'm hungry...
- I'm cold...
- I'm hot...
- Can I have...
- I want to watch...
- Where are you?
- Can you ask Dad?
- Can you help me...
- He punched me...
- She scratched me...
- I want to go there...
- When are we...?
- Why are we...?
- Why can't we...?
- Where's mom?
Today’s Thought
If you work all day and you never get paid, you’re a Mom!
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