Friday's Funnies

The Meaning Of Life

There was a woman who was a high school counselor and thus knew all the signs of emotional upheaval. One morning her preteen daughter showed up for breakfast, dragging her feet and rubbing her eyes. The young girl flopped down in her chair and told her mother she was sick of life. All of her mother's high school counselor alarms went off as she rushed around the breakfast bar, put an arm around her daughter, and began to explain to her why life is worth living. The daughter looked up at her with a confused look on her face and said, "Mom!?! I meant Life cereal."

Government Workers

Two guys were working for city public works department. One would dig a hole and the other would follow behind him and fill the hole in. They worked up one side of the street, then down the other, then moved on to the next street, working furiously all day without rest, one man digging a hole, the other filling it in again. An onlooker was amazed at their hard work, but couldn't understand what they were doing. So he asked the hole digger, "I'm impressed by the effort you two are putting in to your work, but I don't get it -- why do you dig a hole, only to have your partner follow behind and fill it up again?" The hole digger wiped his brow and sighed, "Well, I suppose it probably looks odd because we're normally a three-person team. But today the guy who plants the trees called in sick."

Trooper's Orders

Driving through Georgia on Interstate 75, I came upon a group of cars that were abnormally traveling exactly at the 55 m.p.h. speed limit. In the middle of the group was a state police cruiser that everyone was reluctant to pass. After several minutes the officer's voice rang out over his roof-mounted loudspeaker. "For heaven's sake, move!" he commanded. "I am a Tennessee trooper."

Singing At Sea?

There was a nice bathroom scale in our cruise ship's cabin. Since the sign in front of the fitness center claimed that the average cruiser gained seven to ten pounds during a cruise, I figured the scale was a way to help the cruiser avoid the weight gain. I stepped on the scale. It was ten pounds too low. I asked my wife to try it. She said that it was registering about ten pounds too low. The thing was apparently broken. The ship had excellent service and I was super impressed with the cabin steward. I didn't mention it to him, but he must have known that our scale was out of whack and not measuring correctly. When I stepped on the scale on the last day of the cruise, sure enough my weight was reading perfectly. Excellent cruise service!

36 Funny Places to Live Around the World

Would you live in a place called Accident or would you rather call your home Rest or Cool? Check out these real town names and choose your favorite spot to live.

Places you want to live
Cool, California
Beer, Devon, England
Disco, Tennessee
Fear Not, Pennsylvania
Wonkifong, Guinea

Places you may not want to live
Accident, Maryland
Arsenic Tubs, New Mexico
Dismal, Tennessee
Double Trouble, New Jersey
Moron, Mongolia
Satan's Kingdom, Vermont

Delicious places to see
Bead Loaf, Vermont
Hot Coffee, Mississippi
Clam, Virginia
Egg, Austria
Toast, North Carolina

Cute places
Cabbage Patch, California
Silly, Belgium
Sweet Lips, Tennessee
Polkadott, Ohio
Punkeydoodles Corners, Ontario, Canada

Places where the animals go
Bumble Bee, Arizona
Chicken, Alaska
Porcupine, South Dakota
Doghouse Junction, California

Scary places
Eek, Alaska
Frankenstein, Missouri
Hell, Michigan
Hurt, Virginia
Monster, Netherlands
River Styx, Ohio

Questionable places
Why, Arizona
Whynot, North Carolina
Who's Thought It, Texas