Top Ten Least Popular Christmas Plays
10. Away away away in a socially-distanced manger.
9. When the stable animals talked at midnight and it got, like,
all political.
8. The shepherds forget to re-tweet the Angel's announcement.
7. It's a wonderful Zoom.
6. The Magi's Tik Tok mocking of Herod.
5. Hark the cardboard angels sing.
4. Live chat with Fred, the 'no filter' shepherd.
3. The story of Willie, the emotional-support sheep.
2. Christmas unwrapped: Kids just play with the box for an hour.
1. Gold, Frankincense, and Dr. Fauci.
Christmas Shopping
A couple were in a busy shopping center just before Christmas. The wife suddenly noticed that her husband was missing and as they had a lot to do, she called him on her phone. "Where are you?” the wife said. "You know we have lots to do." He replied, "Do you remember the jewelers we went into about 10 years ago, and you fell in love with that diamond necklace. I couldn't afford it at the time, and I said that one day I would get it for you?" Little tears started to flow down her cheek and she got all choked up. “Yes, I do remember that shop" she replied. "Well, I'm in the video game store next to that."
10th Reindeer
"Why don't we ever hear about 'Olive,' the 10th reindeer?" asked Bert. "What 10th reindeer?" asked Scott. "You know. Olive, the other reindeer, used to laugh and call him names."
Diamond Ring
A guy bought his wife a beautiful diamond ring for Christmas. After hearing about this extravagant gift, a friend of his said, "I thought she wanted one of those sporty four-wheel-drive vehicles." "She did," he replied. "But where was I going to find a fake Jeep?"
At a clearance sale, the wife of a federal district court judge found a green
tie that was a perfect match for one of her husband's sports jackets. Soon
after, while the couple was vacationing at a resort complex to get his mind off
a rather complicated cocaine conspiracy case, he noticed a small, round disc
sewn into the design of the tie. The judge showed it to a local FBI agent, who
was equally suspicious that it might be a 'bug' planted by the conspiracy
defendants. The agent sent the device to FBI headquarters in Washington, DC for
analysis. Weeks later, the judge phoned the Washington office to learn the
results of their tests. "We're not sure where the disc came from,"
the FBI told him, "but we discovered that when you press it, it plays
'Jingle Bells.'"
The Christmas Play
A little boy, excited about his part in the Christmas play at school, came home
and shouted, "I got a part in the Christmas play! I got a part in the
Christmas play!" "What part did you get?" asked his mother
excitedly. "I'm one of the three wise guys!"
Christmas Carols as Interpreted by Kids
A teacher in Atlanta asked her students to write the words to their favorite
Holiday/Christmas Carols; here are some of the humorous lines she received:
·
Deck
the Halls with Buddy Holly
·
De
three kings of porridge and tar
·
On
the first day of Christmas my tulip gave to me
·
Later
on we'll perspire, as we dream by the fire.
·
He's
makin' a list, chicken and rice.
·
Noel,
Noel, Barney's the king of Israel.
·
With
the jelly toast proclaim
·
Sleep
in heavenly peas
·
In
the meadow we can build a snowman, Then pretend that he is sparse and brown
·
You'll
go down in listerine
·
Oh,
what fun it is to ride with one horse, soap and hay
·
O
come, froggy faithful
Christmas Q&A
What's red and white and falls down the chimney?
Santa Klutz!
Why is it so cold at Christmas?
It's in Decembrrrrr.
What do elves learn in school?
The Elf-abet!
What nationality is Santa Claus?
North Polish.
Why did the elf push his bed into the fireplace?
He wanted to sleep like a log.
What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
Snowflakes.
What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus?
Claustrophobic.
Today’s Thought
Dear Santa, before I try to explain myself, how much do you already know?
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