Friday's Funnies

Thanksgiving Prayer

Little Logan and his family were having Thanksgiving dinner at his grandmother's house. Everyone was seated round the table as the food was being served. When little Logan received his plate, he started eating right away. "Logan, wait until we say our prayer," his mother reminded him. "I don't need to," the little boy replied. "Of course you do!" his mother insisted, "We say a prayer before eating at our house." "That's at our house," Logan explained, "but this is Grandma's house, and she knows how to cook!"

 

Thanksgiving Q & A

 What do you get when you cross a turkey with an octopus?

Enough drumsticks for Thanksgiving.

What kind of music did the Pilgrims like?
Plymouth Rock.

Which side of the turkey has the most feathers?
The outside.

Why did they let the turkey join the band?
Because he had the drumsticks

Why did the police arrest the turkey?
They suspected it of fowl play.

What did the turkey say before it was roasted?
Boy! I'm stuffed!

Why do Pilgrims have trouble keeping their pants up?
'Cause they wear their belts on their hats!

What is the difference between a chicken and a turkey?
Chickens celebrate Thanksgiving!!

What is the Turkey's favorite black-tie celebration?
The Butter Ball

How do you keep a turkey in suspense?
I'll tell you at Christmas.

Family Thanksgiving

A man in Chicago calls his son in New York the day before Thanksgiving and says, “I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing; forty-five years of misery is enough.

 

"Pop, what are you talking about?" the son screams. “We can't stand the sight of each other any longer," the father says. "We're sick of each other, and I'm sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Dallas and tell her."

 

Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone. "No way they're getting divorced," she shouts, "I'll take care of this,"

 

She calls Chicago immediately, and screams at her father, "You are NOT getting divorced. Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling my brother back, and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don't do a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?" and hangs up.

 

The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife. "Okay, honey," he says, "they're coming for Thanksgiving and paying their own way."

 

Thanksgiving Groaners

If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring?

Pilgrims

 

What happened when the turkey got into a fight?

He got the stuffing knocked out of him.

 

What do you get when you cross a turkey with a banjo?

A turkey that can pluck itself.

 

What sound does a space turkey make?

Hubble, Hubble, Hubble.

 

Why did the turkey cross the road?

It was the chicken's day off.

 

Who is not hungry at Thanksgiving?

The turkey because he's already stuffed.

 

What do you call a stuffed animal?

You after thanksgiving.

 

What do you get if you divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its diameter?

Pumpkin pi.

 

Dad Joke

My family told me to stop telling Thanksgiving jokes, but I told them I couldn’t stop cold turkey.

 

Today’s Thought

If I was a turkey, I'd be doing everything I could to taste terrible right now.