Difficult-to-Keep New Year's Resolutions
When I hear a funny joke I will not reply, "LOL, Ha or
ROTFL!"
Start using Facebook for something other than Farmville and stupid quizzes.
I will try to figure out why I "really" need five Facebook accounts.
I resolve to work with neglected children... my own.
Lose 20 pounds by going to the gym!
I will stop using, "So, what's your URL?" as a pickup line.
I will spend less than five hours a day on the Internet.
I will read the manual... just as soon as I can find it.
Spend less than $1000 for coffee at Starbucks this year.
Lose weight by inventing an anti-gravity machine.
Stop repeating myself again, and again, and again.
I will stop tagging pictures of myself in pictures even when I'm not in them.
I will think of a password other than "password."
Start using Facebook for something other than Farmville and stupid quizzes.
I will try to figure out why I "really" need five Facebook accounts.
I resolve to work with neglected children... my own.
Lose 20 pounds by going to the gym!
I will stop using, "So, what's your URL?" as a pickup line.
I will spend less than five hours a day on the Internet.
I will read the manual... just as soon as I can find it.
Spend less than $1000 for coffee at Starbucks this year.
Lose weight by inventing an anti-gravity machine.
Stop repeating myself again, and again, and again.
I will stop tagging pictures of myself in pictures even when I'm not in them.
I will think of a password other than "password."
Dieting - New Year Resolutions
2011: I will get my weight down below 180 pounds.
2012: I will follow my new diet religiously until I get below 200 pounds.
2013: I will develop a realistic attitude about my weight.
2014: I will work out 3 days a week.
2015: I will try to drive past a gym at least once a week.
2012: I will follow my new diet religiously until I get below 200 pounds.
2013: I will develop a realistic attitude about my weight.
2014: I will work out 3 days a week.
2015: I will try to drive past a gym at least once a week.
New Year's Eve
A New Year's resolution is something that goes in one
year and out the other.
My New Year's resolution is 1080p.
My New Year's resolution is to stop hanging out with people who ask me about my New Year's resolutions.
I have only one resolution: to rediscover the difference between wants and needs. May I have all I need and want all I have. Happy New Year!
This New Year's I resolve to be less awesome since that is really the only thing I do in excess.
I'll remember 2014 like it was yesterday.
Dear Luck, can we be friends in 2015, please?
May all your troubles last as long as your New Year's resolutions.
Every year I make a resolution to change myself -- this year I'm making a resolution to be myself!
I'm planning on finding new and interesting things to hate about my job in 2015.
My New Year's resolution is to break my New Year's Resolutions -- that way I succeed at something!
New Year's is just a holiday created by calendar companies who don't want you reusing last year's calendar.
I'm actually feeling pretty okay about not accomplishing anything this year.
My 2015 resolution is for everyone else to gain the 50 pounds I refuse to lose.
Tonight the mayor is dropping the ball in New York while Congress is dropping the ball in Washington.
My New Year's resolution is 1080p.
My New Year's resolution is to stop hanging out with people who ask me about my New Year's resolutions.
I have only one resolution: to rediscover the difference between wants and needs. May I have all I need and want all I have. Happy New Year!
This New Year's I resolve to be less awesome since that is really the only thing I do in excess.
I'll remember 2014 like it was yesterday.
Dear Luck, can we be friends in 2015, please?
May all your troubles last as long as your New Year's resolutions.
Every year I make a resolution to change myself -- this year I'm making a resolution to be myself!
I'm planning on finding new and interesting things to hate about my job in 2015.
My New Year's resolution is to break my New Year's Resolutions -- that way I succeed at something!
New Year's is just a holiday created by calendar companies who don't want you reusing last year's calendar.
I'm actually feeling pretty okay about not accomplishing anything this year.
My 2015 resolution is for everyone else to gain the 50 pounds I refuse to lose.
Tonight the mayor is dropping the ball in New York while Congress is dropping the ball in Washington.
Counting
There are three kinds of people: those who can count
& those who can't.
Rules that don’t make sense
Some FAA rules don’t make sense. Like the fact that
when planes are at 39,000 feet going 400 miles an hour, in a plane that could
hit turbulence at any minute, (flight attendants) can walk around and serve hot
coffee and Chateaubriand. But when planes are on the ground on a flat piece of
asphalt going five to ten miles an hour, they’ve got to be buckled in like
they’re at NASCAR.—Jack Stephan, US Airways captain
Calories
Calories (noun): Tiny creatures that live inside your closet
and sew your clothes a little bit tighter every night.
Today’s Thought
No matter how busy people are, they are never too busy to
stop and talk about how busy they are.
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