Friday's Funnies

Please note that due to travel, there will not be any Friday's Funnies over the next 4 weeks.

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New and Improved IRS Form 1040-2EZ
(Tax Year 2007)

Name:
Address:
City:
State:
Zip:
Social Security Number:___-__-____

1. How much money did you make in 2007? $_____________
2. Send it to us: IRS Payment Processing Center, Memphis, TN

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So That's What It Means

Sam and Ruth had just bought a new car when winter hit with all its fury. "I wonder if the car has seat warmers," Ruth wondered. "It sure does," said Sam, looking through the owner's manual. "Here it is...rear defrosters."

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Archeology 101

Last January the "New Orleans Times Picayune" reported that a Cajun amateur archeologist having dug to a depth of 10 meters found traces of copper wire dating back 100 years. He concluded that their ancestors already had a telephone network more than 100 years ago. Not to be outdone by the Cajuns, in the weeks that followed, Texas scientists dug to a depth of 20 meters. Shortly after, headlines in the "Dallas Morning News" read, "Texas archaeologists have found traces of 200-year old copper wire and have concluded that their ancestors already had an advanced high-tech communications network one hundred years earlier than the Cajuns." One week later, "The Grant County Press" reported the following: "After digging as deep as 30 meters in fields near Cabins, WV, Bubba Williams, a self-taught archeologist, reported that he found absolutely nothing. Bubba has therefore concluded that 300 years ago in West Virginia they were already using wireless."

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"But officer..."

A police officer in a small town stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main Street. "But officer," the man began, "I can explain."

"Just be quiet," snapped the officer. "I'm going to let you cool your heels in jail until the chief gets back."

"But, officer, I just wanted to say,..."

"And I said to keep quiet! You're going to jail!" A few hours later the officer looked in on his prisoner and said, "Lucky for you that the chief's at his daughter's wedding. He'll be in a good mood when he gets back."

"Don't count on it," answered the fellow in the cell. "I'm the groom."

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"Debt"

A man went to his lawyer and told him, "My neighbor owes me $500 and he won't pay up. What should I do?"

"Do you have any proof he owes you the money?" asked the lawyer.

"Nope," replied the man.

"Okay, then write him a letter asking him for the $1000 he owed you," said the lawyer.

"But it's only $500," replied the man.

"Precisely. That's what he will reply and then you'll have your proof!"

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Minnesota Clergymen!

Reverend Ole was the pastor of the local Norwegian Lutheran Church, and Pastor Sven was the minister of the Swedish Covenant Church across the road.

I saw them yesterday standing by the road, pounding a sign into the ground. The sign read:

Da End iss Near!
Turn Yourself Aroundt Now!
Before It's Too Late!

As a car sped past them, the driver leaned out his window and yelled, "Leave us alone, you religious nuts!"

From the curve we heard screeching tires and a big splash.

Rev. Ole turned to Pastor Sven and asked . . . "Do ya tink maybe da sign should yust say 'Bridge Out'?"